I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
