Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He shit in the fireplace
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
