Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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