the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
