She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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