He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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