wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
