pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
