I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
