Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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