So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
