Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
