I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
no, he came in my armpit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
