My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
