The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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