fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
