I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
