so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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