separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
