we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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