My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
