What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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