the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
