I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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