i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
