Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
