dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
