so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
