meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
