Well apparently he's into motor boating.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
