I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
