Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
