We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
