it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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