True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
