Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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