you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
