I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I want to fling myself into the sun
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
