I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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