Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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