It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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