I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
