Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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