i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
