We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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