She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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