dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We left the knife in your bed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
