I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize