I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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