The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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